So Certain

Calvin (4): “You know what I like? The tiny little creepy spiders that crawl on me when I’m sleeping.”
Me: “You’re a funny guy, Cal.”
Cal: “I’m not FUNNY, I’m RIGHT!”

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Wanna Play?

Evelyn (10), describing the parents at the ‪#‎LEGO‬ mini model club: “I saw that the other parents weren’t building things themselves but they looked like they wanted to because it was cool.”

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Everywhere But Not a Drop to Drink

Calvin (4): “It’s HARD to build LEGO *water*… you have to find a bunch of blue pieces and just connect them somehow on the sides.”

With the day off of school due to snow, I took the girls (10 and 8) to the university with me for the day. At one point I asked Evelyn to take a dvd back to the library for me. She said she was comfortable with that and I instructed her not to dawdle.

When she got back about 10 minutes later, I asked how it had gone.

Evelyn: “Good. No one even noticed me. They must have thought I was just really short…”

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Forever dependent

Server at dinner jokingly asks Calvin (4) if he’s paying the bill.
“Cal, someday do you think you’ll take Daddy and me out to dinner?”
Calvin: “No!”
Me: “Aw, why not? Not even for my BIRTHDAY?”
Cal: “No, because you’ll be dead by then…”

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Mixing drinks in 5th grade science

Evelyn, describing science class today: “Mr. Bates kept making all these analogies about disolving and diluting. He said, ‘You know when you make chocolate milk and it gets really dark, darker than your parents make it, or Koolaid, or iced lemonaid?’ And I was like, no, I’m not familiar with any of those things.”

#‎sadchildhood‬ ‪#‎wedrinkwateraroundhere‬

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Dubious reader

Me: “Oooh! There’s a newly discovered Dr. Seuss book that’ll be published by Random House this summer!”
Evelyn: “How do they know HE actually wrote it?”
I skim the newspaper article and describe how the manuscript was lost and then found.
Evelyn, doubtfully: “I think they’re just using his name for publicity and he didn’t really write it.”

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