Quotes

I spent an hour on Wednesday driving our friends’  manual transmission Saturn around Newark. As I improved at going from neutral at a stop to 1st gear, Charlotte decided that it was because of her positive incantations from the back seat: “Mommy, you’re not going to STALL out; you’re going to get a SMOOOOTH START.”

—–

This morning James was fixing an antique window with a broken closing mechanism. “Well, I know what window will be the first I replace.” After dinner, Charlotte threw a rubber bouncy ball into a different window, breaking a kiwi-sized hole in it. James: “I guess I spoke too soon about which window would need replacing.”

—–

“Char, would you like soy milk or Lactaid?” Char: “Lactaid, because the chocolate soy milk–it’s not as good for me because of the chocolate–” Me: “No, don’t make excuses and reasons. If you don’t like the soy milk, that’s fine; just choose the other one.” Char: “Well, I don’t like it because it tastes like beans a lot.”

—–

On the front porch, Evelyn is putting sunscreen on Charlotte. Charlotte: “Can you put it on my muzzle?”

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Girls discussing flavors of tootsie pops. Ev: “I wonder what flavor the orange one is.” Me, teasing her: “Probably the orange tastes like purple.” Charlotte: “I have had purple flavor.” Evelyn: “It’s artificial grape.” Charlotte: “Yeah, dentist purple.”

—–

Girls playing Battleship. Evelyn: “Char, that’s not fair.” Parents intervene: “What’s wrong, Ev?” Evelyn: “She says that when I sink all of her battleships, then she’s the winner.”

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Driving down Main Street with Charlotte in the back of the van. “I already ate two men, but I’m still hungry,” she says, making her hand open and close like an alligator, pinching passing UD students.

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James returns from doing final bedtime tucking in: “AAAAaaand Evelyn is asking if fireflies can turn their butts off.”

—–

Watching flash dances on YouTube with Charlotte. “Do you think we’ll see a flash mob in Scotland, Charlotte?” Char: “Yeah. Maybe we’ll even start one!”

—–

Charlotte leaves the lunch table to go to the bathroom. She comes back two minutes later. “I just wanted to kiss you, and then I’ll go back and wash my hands.”

—–

Dinner conversation. Charlotte: “When I go visit Grandma and PaPa, I am going to go places with them. Like the Christian church. Because I’m a Christian now. (pause) Evelyn is Jewish.” Evelyn: “Yeah.” Char: “She doesn’t eat meat.” Evelyn: “I eat meat. I just don’t eat pork.”

—–

On our bikes this afternoon, pedaling up the final hill to get home from the park. Charlotte brings up the rear, griping: “UGH. I should have just laid in bed.” I start laughing. “Well,” she continues, “I’m hungry, I’m thirsty, and I’m tired. I should have just stayed in bed.”

—–

Braved the Saturday crowds at Joann’s with Evelyn. After we had made it back to the car and were heading home, I asked Evelyn about how she had handled a very large woman who was standing in front of the fabric she wanted for the quilt she is making.

“Well, I stood there staring at what it was I wanted until she moved. Then I said, ‘Excuse me.'”

—–

“Cinco DE MAYO! Tacos tonight!!” Charlotte: “So it’s Tuesday?”

——

Charlotte just taught herself how to tie her own shoes this morning. This afternoon: “I’m just going to keep doing it until it’s stuck in my head.”

—–

Char: “I had two meltdowns today. One–right now, because I need a drink of water. One when I was at home and was too hot. And one more, at pre-K, when I fainted.” Me: “What do you mean, ‘fainted’?” Char: “When I hold my breath for a long time and turn red.” (her teacher assures me that this last meltdown did not actually occur.)

—–

Charlotte, in an echo voice: “Mom, I smell something that smells like spit up.” Walking into the kitchen and looking at the oven: “I’m getting closer to whatever it is…”

—–

NPR on in the car, discussing GOP primaries. Charlotte: “UUUUUGH. They have been talking about this since DECEMBER!”

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Charlotte: “A mountain called Everest is the tallest. It’s EVEN bigger than the Newark reservoir!”

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Ev: “Mom, do we have any tape?” Me: “Yes.” “Clear tape?” “Yes.” Ev: “Okay, after lunch, I think I am going to make a rainbow. Fan.”

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Evelyn, explaining to Calvin why he can’t play with the potted tree in our dining room: “It’s just like having no air in your mouth, Calvin, if you dump that tree over.”

—–

Asked the girls what they preferred for beverage at dinner. Ev: “Milk, please.” Char: “I want milk too, please.” [beat, then turns to Ev] “I am not copying you, it’s because I want to have strong bones.”

—–

Charlotte comes to me, holding a Lindt truffle in her hand. “May I have this?” “No. That’s adult candy.”
Five minutes later, she stares at the bag of truffles: “You just don’t want me to have stuff I think I’d REALLY like.”

 

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