October 2012 quotes

Evelyn, doing estimation math: “I am tired of playing with the reasonablenesses. They are UN-reasonableness. First you’re thinking, ‘hey, I could do this every day!’ But then you’re like, ‘No, that wouldn’t be fun at all.'”

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Evelyn is standing with her back to me. “Listen to this,” she says, and then proceeds to play a short song on her recorder. Me: “Okay.” Ev: “Isn’t that funny?” Me: “No. Why is it funny?” Ev: “Because I played it with my nose.”

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This morning Charlotte keeps telling Calvin to “mooch” (a combination of scootch and move, I presume).

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Charlotte: “Why can’t you marry cousins?” I explain in general terms. “Plus, who would you want to marry who is your cousin?” Charlotte: “You know, the cute little baby one? Zach. I’d like to marry him.”

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Calvin is obsessed with the moon these days. Tonight, looking at the crescent moon he pointed at the car then the moon. “I go moon. In our car.”

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Go into the den to find Evelyn and Charlotte continuing leaf identification on the archaic desktop computer there. I’m surprised because I know I shut it down last night. Evelyn: “Well, I wanted to continue finding names for my leaves, and I figured, if I wanted to find something out, I should use Google.”

—–

Girls are looking at the Christmas American Girl Dolls catalog. Me: “I wonder why all of the pet dogs’ names are food words.” Evelyn: “Yeah. Meatloaf, Coconut, Honey, Liquor…” Char: “Ish.”

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Evelyn eating a slice of (real) bacon: “This it totally spoiling turkey bacon for me.”

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Calvin is sobbing and repeatedly pleading with me, “Our car, MOON. Our car, Moon,” pointing at the sky.

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Cal and I met James for coffee at Dunkin Donuts between his classes. Walking in, I ask Calvin what kind of donut he wants. Cal: “Icing.”

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10/22: Note sent home with Charlotte from the school nurse: “1:30 p.m. Charlotte came to the office complaining of a splinter. washed hands–so small–applied bac. ointment and B.A. (didn’t really see a splinter). Will observe.”

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Evelyn, when I ask her how her school picture turned out: “My hair is pluffy and my smile is too big.”

——

We were “ghosted” last night by some friends. You know who you are. Charlotte loved it for a minute but then got scared. This morning, I found this note on the paper the “ghost” had left behind: “I am scarde a lot. Charlotte”

—–

The opening to a scary story Evelyn wrote for school:

Most spooky stories have werewolves, zombies, ogres, skeletons, and happen in haunted mansions, graveyards, and attics.

Mine doesn’t. It happens in my house during a storm.

Oh, but it has souls, phantoms, vampires that turn into bates, fangs, and lots of pizza.

My friends play a role in my story too. Now I will tell my horrorful story to you. Be SCARED!

HORROR PIZZA!

—–

I asked the girls to pick a time period they would have liked to live in. Char: “The 1600s. Wait, a hundred years ago. Because it would be interesting to see how times have changed.” Evelyn: “No.” Me: “What do you mean, no?” Evelyn: “I would not want to live another time.” Me: “Okay, what if you were guaranteed to be rich, like a queen?” Evelyn: “No. Because even if you had a lot of money, the sicknesses without good health care would ruin it.”

—–

Charlotte has a long memory for such a young consumer. Watching football, a commercial for Best Buy came on. “We bought a toaster there, and it was AWFUL.”

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At this very moment, Calvin is sitting on the kitchen floor throwing a plastic figurine of Mrs. Claus across the room, chasing her down with a CAT truck, and saying “CRASH” while rolling the aforementioned construction vehicle over the unsuspecting Mrs. Claus.

—–

Charlotte’s story, titled “Little Mouse’s Woods”:

Once upon a time there was a mouse.

It was a smoggy place in the woods.

One day, the factory was torn down. They weren’t making enough money.

(the illustration shows a smog-free forest landscape with a happy little mouse saying, “skweek.”)

—–

Calvin demonstrated his egg-cracking abilities to a wider audience today: the customers at Target. Cal’s target: the $120 worth of items in my shopping cart.

—–

Evelyn is Maid Marion from Robin Hood, Charlotte is a ghost witch, and Calvin is Batman.

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