aside

Calvin is hording eggnog. Mentioned leaving some out with cookies for Santa Claus, and he said, “No, Santa Claus can buy some at the store for hisself.”

—–

Cal, about his cereal: “Mmm. Sugary ointment.”

—–

Evelyn: “We got ice cream at the grocery store…”

Me: “Are you asking a question?”

Evelyn: “No, I’m just putting a cue out there.”

—–

My sister offers the kids cream of wheat. Char says yes but looks nervous. When she has a bowl in front of her, relieved: “Oh! I thought it was cream of MEAT.”

—–

Calvin, watching hotel vestibule automatic doors: “Some doors are *magic*.”

—–

Calvin, in dark at bedtime: “I don’t like these eyes.” I assume he means a toy with eyes, grope to locate offending toy. It’s his own eyes.

—–

Evelyn, describing perfume in the school store: “I considered buying it for you, but then I smelled it, and it smelled like burned bugspray.”

—–

Calvin asking for a second bowl of cereal: “May I have more sugar?”

—–

Charlotte, protesting me turning off tv: “But Mommy! Guidelines say children should watch *at least* 2 hours of t.v. a day!”

—–

Charlotte did a patriotic drawing labeled “America the pretty.” I ask why not “America the Beautiful.”

Charlotte: “Because I don’t know how to do a cursive ‘B’.”

—–

Charlotte: “What if babies had babies, and babies had babies, and we never grew up?”

Me: “What would that be like?”

Charlotte: “It’d be awesome.”

Evelyn: “But you wouldn’t EVEN be able to read, Charlotte. Think about it. Education is good for SOMETHING.”

—–

Calvin, singing to the tune of “Rudolph”: “Frosty the snowman / had a carrot nose / and if you ever saw it / you would even say it glows.”

—–

“The big paper is due tomorrow,” I mutter to myself.

Evelyn: “Oh my. Have you started on it?”

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