Quotable Kids

I ask Charlotte what she thinks we should get Calvin for his birthday. Charlotte: “At least one transformer.” Pause. She starts giggling. “I was just thinking of a joke I could play on him… I could give him a really cool gift bag, and inside would be SOCKS.”


Calvin: “What was your name when you were born, Mommy? Was it Janel? Woah. That’s a big kid name. When I grow up I’m going to name myself… how bout Michael?”


Calvin has a very simple worksheet to do for homework. It’s taking longer than expected, so I ask how it’s going.

His response: “See here? this guy is standing near a teleporter. He has a question mark over his head. Then see the dots that lead over to this other end of the teleporter? and he’s coming out the other side. How do you spell “ha” and “weird”?”


As I wake Calvin, his stomach growls. “Sounds like your stomach is saying, ‘Feed me breakfast!'” Calvin: “Yeah, and the rest of me is saying, ‘Stay in bed!'”

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