In 2006, our second daughter was stillborn at full term. She was perfect, she was beautiful, she was dead.
When we got home from the hospital and as we began the long process of grieving Beatrice’s death, both of us turned to research; James looked at a lot of scientific and medical papers about what causes stillbirth, whereas I sought out personal narratives by others who had experienced similar losses.
Although there were some websites and blogs, there were very few books. The few that I found helped immensely, but I still craved more. I had so many questions, and no one to answer them.
This gap in the literature inspired me to start putting together such a book. Already a freelance writer, I started researching stillbirth and stillbirth studies. I reached out to writers who were already writing about babyloss, pregnancy loss, and infant death. I asked people who had firsthand experience having a stillborn baby to contribute essays.
In November 2009, 3 and a half years after Beatrice died within me, Rowman & Littlefield Publishers offered me a publishing contract.
The book, including 21 essays, a section about current research and prevention, and a resources section, was published two weeks after Calvin’s arrival, in November 2010.